Robbie Williams has a question for you

“TO ALL BOY BAND MEMBERS!”. Thus begins thesocial “investigation”. conducted by Robbie Williamswho jokingly calls together his colleagues to find out who were the “toughest” of the 90s boy bands.

“It’s a topic that I don’t think has been discussed enough… or at all.” Citing a video in which Scottish comedian Limmy answered a question about who would win the clash between Take That and their arch-rivals, East 17, Williams asks: “In the field of boy bands: who is the single coolest member? Who is the most competitive? Which group is the toughest, as a whole? And if there was a Boy Band Fighting ‘Ryder Cup’ – USA versus Europe – who would win? Let’s start with East 17 against Take That.”

“Have the popcorn” they write in the comments. Williams starts analyzing the shares of Take That and East 17: “Howard (Donald) is a brick. I was on hormones and still couldn’t beat Howard at arm wrestling.” He goes on to describe Jason Orange as “relentless, strong and clumsy”, Gary Barlow was “the youngest black belt in the UK”, while he himself describes himself as “a piece of shit”.

Presenting the “fight poster“, pits Donald against East 17’s Tony Mortimer and declares Donald the winner “for life”, despite Mortimer’s experience in martial arts, calling his former bandmate “a late-night ballroom dancer”. A draw between Orange and John Hendy would have been “difficult”, but Hendy would have won because he is a “bricklayer”, while Orange “literally has saunas in spas”. He gave up against Terry Coldwell and a “methodical and patient” Barlow, beating instead a “gritty but emotional” Brian Harvey.

Overall, Take That win the race 3-1, even though “the E17s would have won in a bar fight because they would have shown up drunk”. As for the “Ryder Cup”, Robbie defined the line-up of his Team Europe, with Duffy and Lynch joined by Ste McNally of BBMak, who he defined as “a 3-time world champion in kickboxing”, G-Man of MN8, Ally Begg of Bad Boys Inc, who he defined as “a man who has seen war and misses it a bit”, and Jay from Five.